Harold and Kumar

Oh man, still laughing...

***

Kumar: [walks up to a bush and starts peeing] Ahh.

[Creepy Guy walks up out of nowhere and starts peeing right next to him]

Kumar: 'Scuse me, I just...

Creepy Guy: Huh?

Kumar: I have to ask you, why'd you... wha... wha... why are you peeing... right here?

Creepy Guy: What?

Kumar: I mean... why'd you pee right next to me when you could like, choose that bush, or...

Creepy Guy: Well, this bush looked like I should pee on it. Why are you peeing on it?

Kumar: Well, no one was here when I chose this bush.

Creepy Guy: Oh, so you get to pee on it and no one else does? Huh?

Kumar: No, it's just... I just...

Creepy Guy: This your bush? You have a special bond with this bush?

Kumar: No, I just thought that...

Creepy Guy: You the king of the forest?

Kumar: I'm sorry?

Creepy Guy: What?

Creepy Guy: You fuckin' tree-hugger. IS THIS YOUR SPECIAL BUSH?

Kumar: Never mind. Forget it, I really don't feel like gettin' stabbed tonight. [they pee in silence for a bit]

Creepy Guy: [quietly] Nice pubes.

Kumar: [pauses, creeped out] Thanks.