Please steal my underwear!

I wish someone would break into my place and in exchange for my underwear, washed my dishes, did my laundry, made me snacks, and fixed my computer.


Court pardons smitten bra burglar
BEIJING, China (Reuters) -- A Chinese man who repeatedly broke into the home of a neighbor he secretly loved, at one point sneaking out with a bra and some photos, has been let off the hook by a Chinese court, Xinhua news agency said on Tuesday.

The man confessed to breaking into the woman's home five times, including once while she was sleeping, though he had fled as soon as she woke up, Xinhua said.

Police caught him red-handed in November walking out of the neighbor's apartment with a key to her door, a bra, two photographs and her MP3 player, the report on Xinhua's English Web site, www.chinaview.cn, said.

But the court in Harbin, capital of northeastern Heilongjiang province, dismissed harassment charges against the burglar. It heard that on the times he entered the woman's apartment while she was out, he had washed her dishes, done her laundry, left her snacks and even fixed her computer.

"(The man) said he loved her secretly, but couldn't muster up enough courage to speak to her. He placed a bet with his roommate that he would win her heart," Xinhua said, citing a report in the Shenzhen Daily. It did not say when the charges were dismissed.

He once planted a note in the apartment reading: "Don't panic. I hope you can understand my feelings for you."

He told the court he swiped the woman's MP3 player because it was in need of repair, but admitted he "took her bra and photos out of love for her."

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