SuperDave

SuperDave is gone. Sorry, I know you guys got taken in by the same aspects that attracted me to him. He was funny, warm, seemingly sincere. But in a relationship, he was limited. He and I went through an experience that I would not wish on my worst enemy, and he was unable to be a part of my healing process, even though I did ask him very specifically. My last words to him were, "I love you." And I don't intend to add any more to that. I gave up my pride and now I need to lick my wounds. (Well, the child in me says, "You're a selfish dick and you don't deserve your nuts," but I digress.)

I've learned from every relationship I've been in. From this one, I learned that it's possible to fall in love for the wrong reasons. I fell in love because I needed to see that after Fotis, I was still capable of loving someone else. And I did, do, love David. But he didn't love me the way I needed. I need to be with someone who can love me when I cannot forgive myself. (When I say I can't forgive myself, I should also say that I never cheated on him. I was 100% faithful.) With everything that I've been through, I don't believe that love has limits. I belive that love is the one commodity that you can continually give, and give, and give, and it never diminishes.

I'm not bitter, just tired. There's been a lot placed on my emotional plate since Christmas, and I've decided that I'm not celebrating any holiday in 2006, because every holiday so far has been a complete disaster.

I've been blessed with the ability to heal myself. As an only child, you learn to deal with things on your own terms. I gave Dave the space he needed to deal with his own issues, but during that time, I realized that he was detrimental to my own needs. So please, no questions. I rely on all of you to be my cushion for when I fall. But please let me heal my wounds on my own, and then fall on my cushion when I'm ready.